The Long Way Home
by AmeliaFaulks
Summary: Glasses! They have alot to answer for.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** For the purposes of this post-Returns story, please regard the Donner movies as providing a loose-ish background for the characters; I like to imagine that although Lois remembers her romantic history with Superman AND entertained the idea that Jason was not Richard's at the time of her pregnancy, the circumstances of his birth and his subsequent health problems etc convinced her he couldn't not be Richard's- and she's been in a kind of denial about how much Jason actually looks _nothing_ like Richard and ALOT like Superman ever since.

This fic exists because of how much I love, and am simultaneously frustrated by, the Lois/Superman/Clark relationship of the movies. There's the delicious will he/won't he tension of The Reveal that hangs across all of them. But, dammit all, they're never allowed even one honest-to-God, non-dead, un-mindwiped kiss! That itch deserves to be scratched, and that is what fanfic is for.

**Disclaimer:** The Superman franchise does not belong to me. If it did there'd probably be a lot less plot and a lot more shirtless Brandon Routh...mmm... Um, where was I, again?

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**The Long Way Home**

**-Chapter One-**

They say that becoming a father changes a man. Intellectually, Clark found that to be true. He felt he had been altered in some fundamental way. It would have seemed inconceivable a week ago that he could love Lois any more intensely, but he did. There was a connection between them now so intimate, that just the thought made him catch his breath.

And it wasn't just a change within himself either- Clark felt the world around him was different. For so long he'd carried the burden of Krypton alone. Now there was Jason; his heritage, his powers. The future held new possibilities. And new dangers. Where once he'd had just one dark-haired, alarmingly incident-prone human being to worry about- now there were two.

Everything had changed.

So there was an irony to Clark's first experiences of fatherhood. He turned up for work, as usual, melted into the safety of the background, as usual, and spent the days making sure that everything about his behavior remained outwardly the same. He had thought about things alot and decided on a plan. The right thing to do, the only thing to do, was to leave Lois and Jason alone to get on with their lives- without interfering. Lois had moved on and it had been naive to think she wouldn't. She was engaged to another man. A man who had spent five years bringing up his son.

As Superman, he could maintain a respectful distance and watch over them all. As Clark, he could be close to Jason without forcing Richard aside. He would continue to love Lois from afar, as he always had.

In his mind the plan was flawless.

It turned out his mother was not really on board with any aspect of the plan. In fact, she was brandishing the potato peeler at him. That was never a good sign.

"So that's it? You're going to pretend nothing's happened? That's your strategy?"

"Yes." Clark thought for a second. "No." He tried again, "Mom. She's with someone else. I can't," he searched for the right words, "...barge in and expect her to fall into my arms."

"Honey, I realise that. We all realise that this is... a complicated situation. But you have a son, with _Lois_. How can you seriously suggest staying away from that?"

"I'm still going to get to see them everyday. And just because I can't tuck Jason in at night, or tell Lois that I..." He swallowed. "It doesn't mean I can't be close to them. I can keep them safe. Watch over them. It's just that I'll be in the background. I'll always be there; they just won't know."

She looked at him skeptically. "Watch over them?"

"Always."

"Stay away from them?"

"A respectful distance."

"And they'll never know?

He nodded, "Exactly." See? It was a _good_ plan.

Martha dropped the peeler into the sink. "Oh for Heaven's Sake, Clark! That's not the behaviour of a good parent- that's the behavior of a psychopath!"

"You and dad raised me when Jor-El couldn't and I turned out okay; what's the difference?"

"He was dead!"

She wiped her hands on her apron, exasperated. "You _love_ her."

"She...has someone else now."

Martha searched her son's face. He could be infuriatingly stoic but his eyes always gave him away, and she wanted to find the truth in them now. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"It's the right thing to do."

She shook her head sadly. "Sometimes I think you must enjoy being unhappy."

"This has nothing to do with my happiness. I left her. Things have to be on her terms."

"Have you even spoken to her since the other night?"

Clark shuffled uncomfortably. "Of course."

"When?"

"All the time. This morning."

"What did she say?"

"Does 'accommodating' have two Ms and one C, or two Cs and one M?"

"_What_?"

"Her spelling is appalling."

"That's not what I meant."

Noises several thousand Hertz outside the range of normal human hearing caught his attention. "Mom, I have to go."

"Clark-"

"I know what you meant."

"Are you sure you can't stay for dinner?"

He waved at the air. "There's a robbery. I really have to go."

She lay a hand on his arm. "Just talk to her."

----------

For the seventh night in a row Lois slept in the spare room. And for the seventh morning in a row she took a moment to compose herself before stepping carefully into the kitchen. Jason was slurping spoonfuls of milk out of his cereal bowl. Richard was using the cafetiere. He had his back to her.

"Morning."

"Morning. Would you like a cup?"

"Thanks."

"How did you sleep?"

"Well, thankyou."

And this was how it was between them now. At home and at the office. They were polite. Cordial. Grown-ups.

"You?"

"Um." Richard turned to pass her a coffee and appeared to be considering the question carefully. "Horribly, actually. Or maybe it was awfully? Terribly?"

Well, one of them was going to crack sooner or later. Lois cleared her throat. "Sweetheart, can you go clean your teeth for me, please?"

"But I've not finished-"

"Now. Please."

Jason carefully lowered the spoon that had been midway to his mouth and slunk off his chair. Lois was careful to avoid his eyes. He closed the door.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah."

"We can't go on like this."

"Well, we agree on something."

Lois took a deep breath. "I think we should leave." She braced herself but Richard's response was not the mixture of anger, hurt and pain she had anticipated. He put his coffee down to come to her and take her hands.

"Do you mean that? Do you really mean that? Because, listen; I spoke to Perry and something's come up in Paris. I'm not talking about forever- just time enough to get away from...here. Have some space. Take time to think things through?"

Oh, this was going to get messy.

"No, Richard. That's not what I meant. I think, I think Jason and I. I think we should leave. You."

"_What_?" A look of incomprehension passed over his face.

Lois felt strangely reassured; anger, hurt and pain were definitely now on their way, and that could only be healthy. "I think it would be best if we just spent some time apart. I need to think."

"Did he ask you to do this?"

"What? No."

"He decided he wants to play happy families, is that it?"

Lois looked bemused. "Actually, I've not spoken to him."

"Five years and then he clicks his fingers, and you go running."

"It's not like that."

"What are you going to do, Lois? Move in together? Mr and Mrs Superman? Are you out of your mind?"

"Richard, please don't raise your voice. I've not spoken to him. I've not even seen him since-"

"Do you expect me to believe that? Do you expect me to believe a single word you say?"

"I'm trying to be honest."

"You told me you never loved him. And that was a lie."

Richard's voice cracked on the last word and it was unbearable.

"I wasn't lying to you." She raised her head to him. "I was lying to myself."

They were quiet. She blinked hot tears away. "I've got an appointment about an apartment that's near Jason's school. I'll drop him off on the way. I'll see you at work."

She left him stood in an empty kitchen. Her coffee sat unfinished on the table. Her lipstick had left a mark on the cup.

----------

The newsroom was quiet. Another late night at the Planet. But this was the part of the day Clark had always liked best. When they were alone. When they could sit and work in silence and Clark could pretend that the only two things stopping him from going over to her and ripping open his shirt right there and then were the twin pressures of a morning deadline and an overdeveloped sense of propriety. Of course, that had all been before. What was stopping him now? Nothing, except lies covering lies, and five years worth of the world spinning on without him.

He watched her now. She was at her computer, one elbow rested on the desk so that she could lean her head on her hand. Her reading glasses sat on the tip of her nose and the reflection showed that she was scrolling through some kind of written document. She paused to pinch the bridge of her nose. She looked so tired. More than anything in the world he wanted to go to her. Place his hands on her shoulders. Rub her neck in small circles with his thumbs. Lay a gentle kiss on the top of her head, and maybe allow his lips to...

Oh, was she saying something? With an effort he refocused, "Mmm, uh. What?"

"I said I'm going to grab something to drink- do you want anything?"

"Oh. No. Thankyou."

Lois smiled and kind of shook her head at him as she walked past.

"I won't be a minute."

Clark was far too much of a gentleman to ask why she needed a coat to go to the soda machine. He watched her head toward the elevator just like he had every night this week. And just like every night, he forced himself to stay at his desk and concentrate on his work. He read the same paragraph three times before scrunching his eyes, determined not to give into himself. It was the only way this thing was going to work. But, God, she made it so hard.

He made a decision and the elevator doors had barely closed before he was working at the buttons on his shirt.

----------

For the first time in a long time the sky was completely clear and you could look up and see stars. Lois pulled her coat tighter against a chill in the air and took a moment to marvel at the view. Jason knew all the constellations and would have been able to point them out to her. It was funny, she'd always imagined he inherited his fascination with the night sky from her. Perhaps not. She wondered what other traits, and habits and previously inexplicable interests of Jason's would now make better sense. It half-scared and half-thrilled her.

She gazed out across the city, looking. Looking for what? A speck on the horizon? A blur of red and blue? She was ridiculous but at least she knew it. That was something, right? She decided to give him five more minutes.

----------

By the time he'd finally worked up the courage to move toward her, a police siren blared from the next block over. Clark sighed and retreated back into the shadows. The more things change, the more they stay the same. He flew off to deal with the world and left the woman he loved alone, waiting on a rooftop.

----------

Lois let herself in quietly and was relieved that Richard was not in the living room. It wasn't that late but maybe he had gone to bed and they could avoid another argument until tomorrow. She flicked the light on in the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Rustling around she decided she wasn't hungry. Instead she took out milk to make tea. She jumped when she closed the door and found Richard watching her. He looked terrible.

He held his palms to her, "Jason's asleep. I just want to talk."

Lois nodded. "Do you want some tea?"

He smiled wryly. "I'd rather have a wedding date, but at this stage I guess I'll take what I can get." His reward was a wide, genuine smile. It had been so long since Lois had done that, her face felt funny afterward. They pulled out a couple of stools and sat opposite each other.

He started. "I've been thinking."

"Good, me too."

"About Paris."

Lois let her head slump to her chest. "Richard. I'm not going to Paris."

"Will you just hear me out? Please?"

She looked at him carefully. Judging that he looked earnest rather than deluded, she relented. Off her look, he continued.

"Obviously this is a ...weird situation. But the thing is... I love you."

"Richard-"

"I love you, and I know that you love me. And even though it turns out I'm not...we're a family. I don't want to lose that."

"I'll never let that happen. Whatever happens between us, Jason loves you. You'll always be a part of his life."

Richard let that sink in. "But not yours?"

"I do love you, but-"

"Then let's...not throw this away. Look, I know where I stand. I've seen the way you look at him. But we have something too, Lois, I feel it."

"Richard," her voice was soft, "I always thought, what we had; that it was enough...but it's not. Maybe if things had worked out differently..."

"Then let's make a fresh start. Come to Paris."

"I can't."

"Listen, I know it sounds crazy but think about it; somewhere new. Somewhere that Jason can grow up- away from all the whispers, and the half-truths, and the lies. And Superman? Superman can see him whenever he wants- what's an ocean to Superman?"

"Richard, I can't!"

"Why not?"

"I don't love you the way that I should. The way that two people sharing a life should. It wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair on any of us."

"I'm not asking for a commitment. We don't even need to live together. Just for you to think about it. Have you thought about Jason? About where he fits in all this?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Because it's all very well, being close to Superman. Until someone puts two and two together and decides they don't need to threaten you anymore. Not when they can hurt his kid."

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know how dangerous this is? How much easier it would be if Jason was your son? But he's not."

A lesser man would have blanched at that but Richard didn't allow himself to be distracted, "Lois, I don't have superpowers but I swear to you, I would keep you safe."

"Oh, Richard..."

She didn't have the words, but it was okay. He didn't need to hear them.

He spoke in a whisper, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

She gave a little laugh, "No. But I can't stay with you."

He nodded and they both knew. It was over.

She pulled herself together and waited until she could speak without her breath hitching. "We should go."

He covered her hands. "No. There's so much to go through. The house...it'll be easier if you stay." He smiled. "I won't be here long anyway."

"When do they expect you over there?"

He scratched the back of his head. "I still have a couple of features to run here. I'll finish the month."

Lois fiddled with her finger. "Here. You better take this."

Richard chuckled sadly to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking. Being slid your engagement ring back across a table. I was wondering if this might be the worst moment of my life."

He picked it up.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

----------

They decided to keep the break-up quiet. Lois knew that there had been a sweepstake countdown on her relationship with Richard ever since Superman came back, and she was damned if she'd give the gossips...especially Elaine in the Copy Room, the satisfaction.

So even though no one knew about it, it had been a monumental day. Her first as a technically single mom. It was a beautiful late summer evening and so she made her way up to the roof. It had become a habit- to end the day like this, and now that things had been settled with Richard, she relished the time as breathing space for herself. It was a relief to feel that she wasn't cheating on him just by being up here.

The sun was warm on her face and she leaned against the wall and basked in it. She no longer expected Superman to show up, so it took her by surprise when he did. So much had happened since they had last seen each other. There was so much to say.

So instead they were silent. His cape shifted slightly in the breeze. It felt good to see him. To be near him.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I uh, saw the news- about the forest fires."

Superman nodded.

"I guess you've been pretty busy lately?"

"It's been a busy couple of weeks," he agreed, softly. And then the corner of his mouth turned up and his eyes sparkled, "I honestly don't know how you ever coped without me."

"Jerk." She deadpanned in return.

He smiled at her, "Nice article, by the way."

"Oh yeah? I'm regretting it already." She smiled back. Oh, it was too easy to fall back into old patterns. When neither of them had the right. She stuck her hands in her pockets. He let the smile fade from his face.

"Have you been avoiding me?"

His expression remained unchanged, unreadable. "Actually, I find it kind of hard to stay away from you."

"I've not seen you." She hadn't meant that to sound quite so accusing, but he remained inscrutable.

"No."

She nodded, and a part of her also understood, but she could feel the heat of old irritations and repressed anger rising to the surface. This simply wasn't good enough anymore; they had a child.

She shrugged. "Is this how it's going to be? Is this how it's going to work?"

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

"Every so often, you drop-in for a catch-up? Jason asks after you."

"I hear him."

Lois was taken aback by that. Well, what else had he heard? Superman seemed to read her mind.

"I told you, I'm always around."

If that was meant to appease her, it didn't.

"He wants to know you."

Superman took a step closer. "I..." But then he seemed to think better of it, "Lois, if anyone ever found out."

God, these men! Did they think she was stupid? "Don't you think I know that? We just have to be careful."

"I agree. That's why I think it's best that I..."

"Stay away?" she finished for him.

He gave her the look. Boy, she hadn't seen that in a good, long while. "Maintain a low profile." He corrected.

Lois let out a frustrated sigh. "We need you. _I_ need you."

"Do you?"

That made her head snap up. Lois narrowed her eyes at him. Damn. Where had that come from? "I don't want to make things difficult. You and Richard..."

"It's over."

"What?"

She ducked her head. "Richard and I. It's over. We broke up."

"What. _Why_?"

"Why?" She laughed humorlessly. Was he serious? "You coming back; it kind of complicated things."

Clark was trying to take it all in. This was an unforeseen development on the part of the plan. New possibilities suddenly opened tantalisingly before him. What was she saying? Did she even know what she was saying? Did she mean it? A life with Lois...that was something he'd disregarded as nothing but fantasy for a long time.

He had been quiet for longer than was comfortable and Lois took his silence for something else. It occurred to her that perhaps she'd come on too strong.

"I don't expect anything from you."

Four miles away, he heard gunshots followed by screaming. He closed his eyes in silent frustration at the world and at the foolishness of his own self-interest. How dare he even consider a normal relationship with her if he couldn't even finish a goddamn conversation?

"I have to go."

Crestfallen, she watched him disappear into the sky.

"Geez," Lois yanked on the door handle, "no need to run for the hills quite so suddenly. I wasn't exactly expecting us to go pick out curtains."

----------

By the time Clark made it back to the Planet, he could see that Lois had left the rooftop. At least it gave him time to think. Was she serious? Was she really giving up a fiancé, a home, a life... for him? And what did that even mean? What could he possibly offer in comparison? Real estate in the Arctic?

Not for the first time he marvelled at her courage. The way she was always so prepared to stake everything on him, even when he was running, flying, in the other direction.

But maybe it didn't have to be like that anymore? It was true, Superman, the fantasy, had little to offer her beyond himself. But he was more than that. _Clark_ made him more than that. He allowed himself to imagine a future with her, a real future; waking up next to her in the morning; lazy saturday afternoons spent in the park, holding her hand and carrying Jason on his shoulders. He found himself wondering what it would be like coming home to her at night. Her hands working his tie loose, her fingers unbuttoning his shirt one by one. Her lips tracing the S of his shield on bare skin after his costume had been discarded and lay mingling, with other, mundane items of clothing on their bedroom floor...

So it was that at the end of a day that seemed interminable he found himself in a role-reversal that was inordinately pleasing; on the roof, waiting for Lois. Waiting to talk to her, to explain everything. Finally.

The thought made him giddy. He heard footsteps and prepared himself. In the short moment that it took to wonder at the unladylike heaviness of her step this evening, the door opened and Clark found that it was not Lois at all.

"Oh God. Not you, too."

Richard.

"I'm sorry?"

"Up here. Waiting for Him."

"Oh. No." For a second, Clark thought about vocalizing the addendum; 'Actually Richard, I AM Him. And I was waiting for your ex-fiance- I'm in love with her.'

But it was probably best left unsaid. Belatedly, he realised Richard was still waiting for further explanation. "I...came looking for Lois." True enough.

Richard seemed to find that funny. He echoed Clark's words quietly. "'Looking for Lois.' Me too, pal. Me too."

Clark sensed he should perhaps get out of this conversation early. "Well," he looked around elaborately, "she's not here, so..."

"You know, I always knew, deep down, that she was holding something back."

Clark stayed where he was and remained silent.

"I mean, I knew there was a part of her I'd never know. A part of her she kept from me. Was she always like that? I mean, before?"

He thought hard about that. And the truth was disquieting. "No."

"He did that to her then, when he left."

"You don't seem to have a high opinion of him."

"Who, Superman? Oh, I think he's great. I just think he's a lousy boyfriend."

To have everything he'd been through with Lois, the entire history of their relationship- reduced to such an offhanded, yet painfully accurate, epithet; Clark inwardly cringed.

"I guess I just thought that it would be enough. That we had enough. Whether he ever came back or not."

Clark swallowed down the bile that had involuntarily risen in his throat and forced himself to say the words without gagging, "You really...love her. Don't you?"

Clark's tone made Richard turn to him. He didn't see that he had to justify anything to Clark Kent, least of all his feelings for Lois. But this strange man with the high school crush was looking at him with such intensity, that he felt that maybe he did. But he turned away again.

"It doesn't matter. I guess somethings are just not meant to be."

Clark recognised his own pathological need to do the Right Thing for Lois in the other man's face, and he was chastened. Suddenly the reality of this entire debacle hit him and he felt disgusted. What the hell was he doing? What was he thinking? The arrogance... the condescension...the sheer _hubris_, to ever believe he could waltz back into town and expect Lois to bend and twist and make room for him, and do it all at the expense of the life _he'd_ left _her_ behind to rebuild.

And yet here he was. Destroying it all, from the inside out, again.

There was a way to fix it.

----------

He waited for her on the roof again the next night. But this time his suit and glasses had been hidden away carefully. No Clark this evening. She came through the door.

"I got your message." With two fingers she held up the card she'd found tucked in her notebook after lunch. She read off of it,"'Meet me on the roof. Six pm.' Very old school." She smiled.

"Sorry for the cloak-and-dagger routine. I needed to speak to you."

"You know, we really need to come up with some kind of system. All this hanging around in the night air- it's no good for my complexion. Maybe I should talk to Lieutenant Gordon about something?"

Clark raised an eyebrow. "You want a bat signal?"

"Beats falling out of helicopters, I guess."

Nervous laughter only added to the nervous tension in the air.

"About the other night."

"I shouldn't have said anything-"

"No, I'm glad you did-"

"Oh-"

"It's just that...I don't think this," Superman opened his hands to her, "is a good idea."

Lois misread the gesture. "Oh, well. I always thought it was kind of convenient. We could try using the house more often, I guess? I don't think you should come by in daylight, though."

Superman seemed to flinch. "No, I don't mean this." He pointed at the floor. "...I mean 'us'."

"Oh."

"Five years is a long time."

Lois felt a knot in the pit of her stomach tighten at having her own words quoted back to her. "What are you saying, exactly?"

"And things change."

She cocked her head. "I don't understand. Are you...breaking up with me?"

"Lois-"

Lois was incredulous. "I don't believe it. We don't even have a relationship, I don't even know WHAT we have, and you're _breaking up_ with me?"

"I care for you deeply. And I'll always be there for you and Jason."

"Watching, listening in? From the shadows? Tell you what, if it makes you happy, why don't I type up some kind of newsletter," she gestured the words in the air as Perry sometimes did when visualising a headline, 'Jason's Week.' I could email it to you- that way we wouldn't even have to see each other."

This time he definitely did flinch, thought Lois. Good. "He needs you."

"He needs a father. And you need a husband. Not some guy running off whenever a cat gets stuck."

Lois rolled her eyes. "Is that what this is about? I don't care about that."

He gave her the look again. She wished he was as transparent as she obviously was.

"Okay, that's a lie. I DO care about that. But I care about you more. I care about _us_ more."

"I think you should stay with Richard."

She looked at him. Trying to work him out. He continued.

"Jason's happy."

"Jason is your son."

"Lois. He has a father. I don't want to take that from him."

He was testing her patience now. "You know what? It's too late. You came back; and you did."

"Lois-"

"Oh, what?"

"I-I don't love you."

She reeled. All the years, all the fantasies she'd ever had involving them alone together, on some beautiful starlit evening, with him finally saying the 'L' word to her, flashed through her mind. What kind of sick perversion of them was this?

It was a mark of her bravery that she resisted the instinct to get the hell away from him and throw up, and instead, hold her ground. She searched his face- determined to find the lie. His eyes wouldn't meet hers.

"Look at me."

He was staring at the ground.

She raised her voice, "Look at me, and say that to my face."

He wouldn't. He couldn't.

Her voice was thick with emotion. "You know something? You're a coward."

His throat worked. "Lois."

"No, it's fine. You said what you came to say. I got the message."

She turned expertly on one high heel. With a hand on the doorknob she paused. Poise and venom carefully modulating her voice,

"Something's up with Jason's eyes. If it's not _too much trouble,_ if it's not going to_ interfere _with your own unique, stalker-assed, approach to parenting, I'd like you to talk to him. You can pick him up after twelve on Sunday."

"Lois-"

"I have to go."

He listened to her sobbing as she made it down the stairs and into the elevator. He didn't move when she left the building. He stayed where he was, just watching the door she had left through. He felt sick.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Long Way Home**

**-Chapter Two-**

"He told me that we had no future. That I'd have a better life with you."

An hour ago Lois had burst through the front door and collapsed into Richard's arms. He hadn't lived with her for five years and learned nothing so now he passed tissues and watched as she sat at the other end of the couch, legs crossed underneath her, eating spoonfuls of Low Fat Maui Brownie Madness straight out of the tub and pausing periodically to dab at her nose.

"Is he always so dramatic?"

Lois let the spoon dangle in her mouth and thought about that. "Actually, he really is."

"Do you think he meant it?"

Again Lois looked at him like the thought had never crossed her mind. "I...He doesn't lie."

"So," Richard exhaled, "he's abandoning you to a life of lonely spinsterdom and ...cats," she looked at him sharply, "probably...and I'm offering you a wonderful life, a new opportunity, safety, security and stability for you and your child that isn't mine. And yet, you still say no?"

She nodded sadly.

"Okay, I changed my mind_. This _is the worst moment of my life."

That got a smile out of her and perhaps for the first time since he'd met her, Richard felt he understood Lois Lane; the sheer, stubborn nerve of the woman.

He picked at the piece of tissue he was holding. "My offer, it still stands, you know. I meant what I said- I wouldn't expect anything from you. Just the chance to be near you."

Lois was struck by how closely Richard's words mirrored her own to Superman. She wondered if Superman had recognised, as she did now, what an act of bravery it was to lay your heart open in front of somebody like that.

She wondered if Superman had looked at her and seen what she saw now in Richard's face; hope, and longing, and love. Superman had forsaken her and a future together. In Richard's eyes she could see he expected the same.

Maybe she was in the mood to surprise him.

----------

They sat like a father and son on an old Saturday Evening Post cover; side by side at the end of a wooden jetty, and swinging their feet in the water. Local dads sometimes took their sons on weekend trips upstate to Blue Lake. As it was a Sunday and they had the entire afternoon to play with, Clark decided to bring Jason to Lake Lugano. In Switzerland. It was beautiful. Across the water, behind the town, you could see the Alps.

"So, your mom said you were having trouble with your eyes?"

Jason nodded. "Sometimes they hurt."

"Hurt, how?"

He thought. "Like I'm tired and I've watched too much tv?"

"Like, burning?"

"Yes!"

"Hmmm."

"Is something wrong with them?"

"I don't think so. I think it's just your powers."

Jason's head twitched in interest. "What kind of powers?"

"Well, I went through the same thing with my eyes. Before I could use my heat vision."

"Heat vision? Coool." Then Jason suddenly looked worried.

"Can I hurt somebody?"

"Do you want to hurt somebody?"

"NO!" He paused for a second. "Well, maybe Josh Brannigan. In gym class. Sometimes. He's a bully."

Clark chuckled. "Well, fortunately for Josh Brannigan in gym class, I'm afraid you're perfectly safe. For a few more years, anyway."

Clark was amused that Jason looked vaguely disappointed.

"But if your powers continue to develop, like mine did, you'll probably find your sight becomes affected."

"I won't be able to see?"

"No nothing like that. Things'll just be a little blurry; I'll talk to your mom about an eye test."

They watched their feet under the water.

"Mom's kind of angry with you, you know."

"I know."

"Don't you love her?"

What a question! Clark prevaricated, "I...the thing is, it's kind of complicated."

Jason understood. "That's what she says."

"Listen, I never...I never wanted to come between your mom and dad. That was the last thing."

The little boy nodded. "I know."

"Whatever happens, I'll always be there for you."

"I know."

Clark kind of leaned sideways to bump Jason with his arm. "I love you."

Jason did the same thing back to Clark. "I love you too."

"C'mon. I better get you home."

They swung their legs out of the water and Clark helped Jason put his shoes back on. Then he lifted his little boy high into the air. "Uh, you're so heavy! Too many donuts."

Jason giggled, "I don't eat any donuts!"

"That's what they all say. Okay junior, the short way home? Or the long way home? It's up to you."

"The long way!"

"Excellent choice. I want you to be able to see the pyramids whilst your good-for-nothing eyes are still up to it."

"_But_, you said my eyes will be okay!" Jason chided in mock-horror.

Clark gently placed a kiss on each of his son's eyelids.

"Don't worry about it, son. Treat 'em right, and when you're older, they'll never let you down. Are you ready?"

Jason nodded emphatically.

"Let's go."

----------

It was dark when they got back to Metropolis. Lois was waiting outside for them. Clark gently set Jason down and he skipped excitedly into her arms. His hair was wind-whipped and his face was flushed red.

She looked at Superman. "Right on time."

He nodded. She ruffled Jason's hair and then took her hand back and inspected it before wiping it on her skirt.

"Honey, do you have ...sand in your hair?"

"We flew over Egypt!"

She looked over at Superman.

"Egypt! Of course. Why not?"

Superman stepped forward, "He uh...wanted to see the Sphi-"

But Lois wasn't listening to him. "Jason?"

"Yes, mom?"

"Will you go upstairs and put your things in the laundry, please? I've run you a bath."

"Oh. Okay." He quickly ran back to hug Superman around the waist.

"Bye."

"Bye, I'll see you soon, okay?" Clark tenderly chucked him under the chin before he disappeared back into the house. He called after him, "And don't forget to brush your teeth."

Jason's little voice called back, "I won't!"

"And be nice to Josh Brannigan!"

There was a suspicious pause. "I will!"

Clark watched his son climb the staircase in the house. He shook his head, "He's crossing his fing-"

"So, everything okay?"

At her interruption, Clark zoned back in on Lois. "Yeah- I took him up to Lake Lugano. It's a beautiful spot; I think we went there-"

Again she didn't let him finish. "That's great. And his eyes?"

"Oh. Right. They're fine. I think it's normal growing up stuff."

She looked relieved. "You went through the same thing then?"

"More or less. I was actually a little younger when I started wearing glasses."

That took her by surprise. "Glasses?"

"But I mean, he's only half-Kryptonian, so."

"You...wore glasses."

She was looking at him carefully as if trying to reconcile the ludricrous image of him in blue tights and a pair of spectacles. A little late, Clark realised this was probably a dangerous train of thought.

He cleared his throat and turned away from her scrutiny. "My advice is to take him for an eye test. Corrective lenses should stop the burning. He won't need them once his powers have fully developed."

"I'll make an appointment. Anything else?"

"Uh-"

"Good. Then thanks for coming."

"It's... no problem? Lois?"

She turned, "Yes?"

The way that she looked at him then, it made him stop. Arms crossed, hurt and anger in her eyes, she defied him to find weakness in her again.

"Nothing. Nothing. Same time next week, then?"

"As long as you can make it," she snitted under her breath as she walked away.

Clark nodded. It was only what he deserved. He was about to leave when she turned to face him again.

"Oh, I thought you should know," she looked him right in the eyes, "Richard and I have talked. I've decided to stay with him."

"Oh. Good." Clark lied.

"It's like you said- Jason needs a father. A real one."

The door closed shut.

----------

Clark sat at the kitchen table. The blueish hue of the laptop screen illuminated his face. It picked out a line of concentration right between his eyebrows as his fingertips worked steadily over the keys. Underneath the click-clacking, the only other sound in the room came from the radio, where a woman read the evening news.

Opposite him, Martha expertly placed a stitch. They hadn't spoken since dinner. Clark broke their silence.

"Can you please stop looking at me like that?"

Another stitch. "Like what?"

"Like," Clark gestured towards her without looking up, "that. Like the way you're looking at me right now."

Martha feigned innocence and scowled, "I'm not looking at you like anything."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm sewing."

Clark continued typing. "It's the pity-look. I can't stand the pity- look."

Martha threw her hands up. "I'm not looking at you like anything!"

"Mom! I can see it in your eyes."

"You're not even looking at my eyes! And it's not the pity-look. It's... the _worry-_look- I am allowed to worry about you, right?"

"There's really no need. I'm fine."

Martha raised her eyebrows.

"I'm fine. Besides. She's staying with Richard and that's it." He looked at her then. "So can we just drop it now. Please?"

Martha sank back a little. "Fine. If that's what you want." Her resolve lasted about two seconds, "It just gets to me, Clark. After all this time. For once in your life, I'd just like you to put your happiness before what's best."

There was a pause before she added, darkly, "Or whatever it is that you think is best." She took up her sewing again as he frowned at her distinction. "And that's the last I'll say about it."

The radio crackled in the background. A piano intro was playing. _'...No, I can't forget this evening or your face as you were leaving, but I guess that's just the way the story goes. You always smile, but in your eyes, your sorrow shows-'_

"But it just makes me so angry-" Martha blurted out suddenly.

Clark sighed, "Mom..."

"-that you never stop to consider her feelings in all of this."

He rubbed at his temples. "Mom, look-"

"No, _you_ look, Clark. It's obvious she still cares about you. And if she only knew, then it would change everything."

"You don't know that."

"I know that she deserves the choice."

"She's made her decision."

"Because you lied to her!"

"She's happy with Richard."

"She's _settling _for Richard."

He raised his voice without meaning to, "Well, she's with Richard and that's it, mom! What do you want me to say? That it makes me feel sick to think of her with him? That I'm angry with myself for ever allowing any of this to happen? That all I can think about is what would've happened if I'd just stayed one more year?" His voice softened, "Or nine more months?"

"Oh, _Clark_."

He swallowed hard in an effort to regain composure. "I'm fine."

"Is this what you really want? Is this what you want your life to be? You're sacrificing so much."

"Richard can give her a life. A better life than I could. For them both." He leaned over and covered her hands in his. "Mom, it's for the best."

"It just breaks my heart to see you like this."

Clark dipped his head. "I'm fine, really. I'm fine." He forced a smile. "I'm happy for her. She's happy." Martha regarded him doubtfully, but he was looking through her. "Just as long as she's happy, then I'm happy." He refocused on her eyes. "I don't care about anything else. I can handle the rest."

The radio punctuated his sentence. _"I can't liiive, if living is without you, I can't live, I can't give anymore, I CAN'T LIIIVE-"_

Clark closed his eyes and cleared his throat. "Is it okay if we turn this off, please?"

----------

Jimmy had left for home when it was still light outside, leaving Clark and Lois to work at their desks in a companionable silence. Clark felt that if there was one happy thing about maintaining a double-identity, it was that he could still be her best friend even whilst she despised him.

Now she stopped what she was doing, swivelled round in her chair, and took the pen that she had been chewing out of her mouth.

"Clark, what do you think of Paris?"

Without pausing to look up he reeled off a list. "Um, Champs Elysees; Montmartre; Eiffel Tower; terrorists; H-bomb; reporter barely escaping with her life," Clark quirked his head to better illustrate his point, "yet again."

"That's very funny."

"Oh, and people smoking wherever they want- you'd love it."

"Cute, Smallville." She typed out a word, looked at it and then decisively pressed the delete key, "No, I meant as a place; didn't you send a postcard?"

"It's very nice. Beautiful city. Delicious food. Expensive coffee." He stopped what he was doing. "Why, are you thinking of taking a trip?"

"Something like that."

"Well, there's lots of stuff to do and see. Jason would love it."

Lois thought about Lake Lugano, and Egypt, and Pyramids, and Sphinxes, and how Jason hadn't shut up about them all week. "Yeah, I guess he would."

She shook herself out of her funk.

"On that note, Jason would also love a bedtime story tonight." She shut down her computer and shrugged on her coat. With her back turned toward him, Clark watched her over the rim of his glasses. He knew her routine by heart. First she untucked her hair out of the collar of her coat so that it could spill over her shoulders. Then she checked her purse for her money, cell, keys, hairbrush, lipstick and emergency cigarette packet. Now she bent down to slip her heels back on. That was the part he liked best.

"I'm outta here. You coming?"

He repositioned his glasses to cover the fact he'd been staring at her ass. "I think I'll just finish this up."

"You know Clark, I think a guy like you might benefit from a home to go to." She brushed past his desk on her way out. "I did wonder if you'd bring a Mrs Kent back from your travels."

Clark couldn't help grinning, "What, like an exotic dancer or something?"

He watched Lois's eyes sparkle with mischief, "I was thinking more along the lines of a Filipino bride, actually."

"Get away from me, Metropolis."

She smiled widely and cockily at him, "Goodnight, Clark."

He watched her go. Her perfume hung in the air.

"Mrs Kent." Clark sighed and let his head slump to his desk. He felt the work surface crack.

"Damn."

----------

The following Monday morning, Hurricane Sarah hit the Caribbean. Clark managed to get himself assigned as a special correspondent and, stopping only for a short time each evening to file reports back to Metropolis, he was able to leave the islands with almost all infrastructure back in place by the end of the week. He returned to the office that Friday afternoon. Perry had actually given him the day off but he always felt guilty about taking time for his non-existant jet lag and sometimes Jason stopped by after school.

On the way through the lobby he was accosted by Elaine from the Copy Room.

"Oh hey! Clark! Here, you can give these to Lois." She handed over a cellophane-wrapped, giant bunch of flowers.

"Um, sure." The bouquet was huge and Clark made a show of keeping it balanced, "Woah. Chrysanthemums! What's the occasion?"

Elaine looked at him sideways. "Where have you been all week?"

"Well, actually-"

"The surprise party, of course!" They stepped into the elevator.

Clark frowned. Lois's birthday was in December. Wasn't it? "I'm sorry, the surprise party; for what?"

Elaine pressed for their floor, "You haven't heard? Well. No one's supposed to know," she paused to look over each shoulder, somewhat unnecessarily as they were stood alone in the car, "...but it's Lois's last day today. Word from the secretary pool is that they wanted to keep it hush-hush but she's flying out to Paris tomorrow. Richard just started a job over there and everyone thought that was the end of that. I mean, it's gotta have been a little weird with, you know," she winked at him, "coming back. But Jean from Lifestyle thinks the entire break-up was a smokescreen anyway and that they're actually going to elope!" Her voice finished on a higher pitch and she took a breath. "We're throwing a goodbye party. Can I smell coconut?"

Clark's head swam. _Paris_? "So, wait, like a going-away party; for a vacation or something?"

"No, like a going-away party; for forever. Are you okay? You look a little faint."

"Forever...tomorrow..."

"Right! And you can present the bouquet!" The elevator reached their floor.

Clark felt the full horror of the situation suddenly envelop him and he was sure he was going to throw up, "I uh, no, actually, you know, I don't think I can. Excuse me, I'm sorry."

----------

It was a relief to get out into the open air where he could clear his head and think. Lois was leaving Metropolis. Lois was _leaving_ Metropolis. Maybe he could leave too? There was nothing keeping him here now. Maybe talk to Perry about transferring to Europe? The London offices? Berlin? Madrid? He spoke the Romance languages fluently.

Oh, what was the point? He could live in Cairo and still be by her side in twelve seconds flat if he wanted. Distance was nothing. Just the reason to see her everyday. It didn't even have to be a good one. Perhaps he could say his mother was emigrating? She was selling the farm, wanted to retire to France, she was old, frail, he absolutely couldn't let her go on her own? What? Lois is in Paris too? Well, gosh darn it, Perry! Can you believe that? Lane and Kent, back together again!

He was so caught up in his own head he didn't hear the door click open.

"Hey! What are you doing out here?"

Ordinarily, the unexpected sound of Lois's voice would have been enough to have Clark in Clark-mode jumping out of his skin. But he stayed as he was. Still, and looking out over the city.

"I'm uh, just getting some fresh air."

"Me too." She eyed the cigarettes in her hand, "In a manner of speaking."

He looked at her and then away again, "You don't have to not smoke on my account." She watched him smile slowly, "Even though it's a disgusting habit."

"It's okay. I don't really feel like a smoke anyway," And she'd rather share a byline with Cat Grant, for God's Sakes, than admit to anyone the real reason she had come up to the roof. The wind suddenly picked up. Lois shivered despite her coat.

"God, Clark- it's freezing up here; aren't you cold?"

"I don't really feel the cold."

He turned back to her and was surprised to find her looking straight at him. For a long time they held each other's gaze. It was a dangerous thing for him to do, let Clark look her in the eye like this, but he barely cared. What was the point of Clark now, anyway?

Watching her watch him, deep down, a familiar temptation ached. The way she was looking at him, he felt sure he wouldn't even have to use words. She would just read his mind.

And his mind was giving him away; _tell her...tell her...tell her...tell her the truth_. _She'll stay if you tell her the truth._

He coughed deliberately, gave her a lopsided smile and pushed his glasses up his nose. The spell was broken. "So, Paris huh?" She was right. When it came to her, he was a coward.

She gave a little self-conscious shake of the head, as if to say 'Get a grip, Lane.'

"Um. Yeah."

"I had no idea you were thinking of leaving." She watched him stick his hands in his pockets and look down at his shoes. "I thought you wanted travel tips."

Lois suddenly felt guilty that she hadn't confided in Clark about...anything. Although they had barely spoken since he'd been back, and it was true they were not as close as they once were, he'd always been the one person she knew she could count on. That was not to be sniffed at these days, she thought ruefully.

"We didn't tell anyone. I wanted to avoid the obligatory office send-off," she looked back to the door and they could hear music and what sounded very much like Jimmy leading a drunken rendition of She's a Lady wafting up the stairs, "That worked out pretty well."

They were quiet.

He coughed, "Try to stay out of trouble this time- no shimmying up national monuments in search of nuclear devices?" He smiled but she saw that it didn't quite reach his eyes.

She smiled back, "Okay."

He nodded to himself. "Well, the Planet'll never be the same. This place will miss you."

"Are you kidding? You'll be using my desk as a hat rack." She remembered that in their long friendship they'd never been particularly good at telling each other what they really meant.

"I don't think so."

"Are you okay?"

He turned away from her. She watched his back, concerned.

"Yes. No. No, actually I'm not."

There was something about his stance that suddenly reminded her of Jason. Jason!

"Oh crap, is that the time?"

He still had his back to her. "Lois, there's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"Damn!"

"Something I_ need_ to tell you."

Lois was scrambling in her coat pocket for something. "I completely forgot!"

"Something I should have told you a long time ago."

"Damn. Damn. Damn." She found what she was rooting around for.

"Lois-" he faced her but she was reading off some kind of card.

"Thank God- they don't close until eight."

"Lois." _Look_ at me.

"Yes? Clark, sorry, I just have to go pick something up." She was completely preoccupied with whatever she was holding as she went to leave without a backward glance. She shouted over her shoulder, "I'll call you as soon as I get to Paris!"

He watched, motionless, as the door closed softly behind her. In a breathless second she was back again. Without looking at him she crossed the space between them, threw her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear,"Goodbye, Clark. I'll see you around, okay?"

He felt her smile against his cheek and then she kissed him. And then she was gone.

He put a hand to his face where it was wet but it was impossible to tell whether the tear was hers or his own. It was then that he found his voice.

"It's just that I'm Superman. And I love you." He looked at the pair of glasses he had been holding in his hands and gestured with them uselessly.

"Just thought I should clear that up."

In the distance, a fire engine wailed. He tucked his glasses neatly in his jacket pocket before tearing off his suit and launching himself high into the sky. He thought about Lois making her way down in the opposite direction. It summed them up, he thought. Summed up their entire relationship. No matter what, always just missing each other.

**----------**

Lois showed Sally the Babysitter to the door, "Sorry I was a little later than planned. It's been kind of a frantic day."

"That's okay, Ms Lane. There's always so much to do, huh?"

"And thanks again for staying with him."

"Aw. I'll really miss the little guy." She tugged on a pair of mules. "Say hi to Mr White for me. Or, 'bon jour!' Sorry, I bet you've heard that all day."

"No, no; that's the first time," Lois lied, "and I will."

Sally skipped down the porch. "I hope you guys have a safe trip. Or 'Bon Voyage!' as they say."

Lois smiled graciously. "Thankyou, Sally. Goodnight."

She watched until the teenager made it across the street and safely home before closing the door and leaning against it wearily. There were removal boxes everywhere. She could see where Sally had made the best of a bad job by creating a makeshift table and chairs out of three storage containers. She threw her coat over the bannister rail before going to check on Jason.

He was lying facing away from her and so she tiptoed in to give him a quick kiss. He rolled over.

"Hey." He looked at her blearily.

"Hey," she stroked a rebellious curl off his face, "I thought you were asleep."

"I wasn't asleep; I was just resting my eyeballs."

She chuckled.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." She sat down beside him on the edge of his bed. "What about you? Are you excited about tomorrow?"

"I guess."

"You guess? It'll be nice to see your dad again though, right?"

Jason nodded gamely. "I'll just miss... stuff ...here."

"I know. Me too." Then she remembered something. "Hey, guess what I picked up today?"

"What?"

Lois presented him with a small case.

"My new glasses!"

"Do you want to try them on?"

Jason sat up excitedly, "Yeah!"

"Here, c'mon." She lifted him out of bed. "Let's go find a mirror."

She walked him into the bathroom. Everything had been packed up but the doors on the medicine cabinet were mirrored. She held him up so he could see. She watched his reflection as he carefully opened the arms of the glasses and then slipped them on. She 'Awwed!' at him.

"Mom!"

"I can't help it- you look so cute!"

The glasses were squarish and dark-rimmed and with his mop of hair, tousled with sleep and falling over his face, he looked adorable. She watched him with interest as he busily parted his hair and then pushed his glasses up his nose with one finger.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm being like dad!"

Dimly, Lois thought he must be referring to Richard, "Your dad doesn't wear glasses, honey."

"No, my other dad."

The sentence 'Well, he doesn't wear glasses either' only just escaped her mouth before, in an electrifying moment, Lois was simultaneously struck by three things; her bespectacled son's uncanny resemblance to Clark Kent, Clark Kent's de-spectacled similarity to Superman and by extension, how incredibly untrue that last statement actually was.

"_What_ did you just say?"


	3. Chapter 3

**The Long Way Home**

**-Chapter Three-**

Martha was woken by the international news bulletin on her alarm radio. She dressed and went down to the kitchen. He was stood in the dawn half-light, staring out across the fields. Saying nothing, she gently wrapped her arms around his waist and held him close.

He enveloped her in a hug, "I'm okay, Mom. It doesn't change anything, really," he attempted a smile and got about half way there. "Just a couple less people to talk to at work."

"Maybe they'll come back?"

She felt him shake his head, "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

"Oh, Clark."

She sighed, "There's been another earthquake in China."

He flexed his shoulders back, as if by a physical effort alone he could shake off the sorrow that weighed so heavily on him, "I better go."

"Be careful."

"Always." He turned around in the door. "Hey, since I'm out that way, why don't I pick up dinner on the way home?"

She smiled brightly to match his forced cheeriness, "That'll be nice."

The downdraft from his take-off stirred wisps of hair from her face. She watched him disappear into the early-morning gloom. There he goes again, she thought.

Off to save the world. And at what price?

**----------**

Since it was the kind of day to wallow, Martha spent it spring-cleaning the family photograph collection. She dusted down old frames and carefully polished glass.

It was early evening, and the sash of the window in the living room had cast long shadows over the wall by the time she had nearly finished. She picked up the last photograph on the mantelpiece and paused over it.

Taken at the 1979 Smallville Summer Festival, it showed Jonathan holding Clark in his arms and Clark brandishing a Teddy Bear, twice his size, high in the air. They had won it together on the Bell and Hammer carnival booth, and presented it to her in triumph. Matching grins on sun-kissed faces looked out at her now.

Her two boys.

She realized then that they had no photographs of Jason. No trophies, or pendants, or scribbled drawings to hang on the refrigerator door. No report cards or paper mache airplanes or inexpertly made ash trays for Fathers Day. No outward sign to anyone, that for the people in this house, Jason even existed. Maybe things like that didn't matter. But when Martha thought of all the experiences, and memories, and photographs of Summer fairs Clark would never have, she ached for her son.

A loud rap at the door made her jump.

"The back door's open!"

She looked out the window. But there was no sign of Ben's truck. She squinted. Was that a taxi cab driving away?

Great, out in the middle of nowhere and strangers at the door. Good thing it wasn't like she was an old woman living alone or anything. Tutting at the dog who lay oblivious and snoring in his basket, she picked up her grandfather's walking stick on her way through the kitchen. This was the trouble with having a superhero in the family. They were never around when you needed them.

Carefully, she opened the door.

"Mrs Kent?"

"Oh, my."

Before her, on her porch, stood the last two people she'd ever expected to see. They had suitcases at their feet, and they looked tired and travel-weary. Well, he did, anyway. She looked a little angry. She stuck out a hand.

"My name's Lois Lane. Is Clark around? I brought his son."

**----------**

They sat opposite each other. Martha had made tea.

"So the postcards. That was you."

Martha nodded in contrition. She couldn't help it. She felt a little ashamed.

Lois saw it. "I'm not mad," she started, and then corrected herself; "with you." She looked into her cup, "Just ...hurt."

Martha reached over to her on an impulse, "Oh Lois, the thing with Clark is...everyone looks at him and sees someone magnificent. Someone to be admired, someone who's set apart from us. I see my boy. Caught between the life he wants and the life he thinks he should lead. Desperately trying to find his place in the world, even after all these years. You know, he..."

There was a noise from the kitchen. A sudden gust of wind had blown the screen door open.

A deep voice, Superman's voice, called out. "Hey, mom. I'm back!"

Lois sprang up in reflex.

"I just came home over Ira Milgren's place and you're right, he does still have our plough. It's sitting there in his barn under a sheet, the old fox. I can't believe he could lie to my face like that."

Martha winced. "Um, Clark! We have-"

"Okay, I got you two egg rolls and some fried chicken won tons. Oh, and I also picked up some Sweet Chilli sauce. From Chile. Just 'cause, you know, I could."

He was smiling to himself when he finally, _finally_ walked into the living room.

"...Oh!"

"-company," Martha finished quietly. A delicate tension settled over the room.

For the first time in his life, Clark- the real one, not the one hiding behind glasses or even the one protected by a brightly-colored suit- got to say hello to Lois Lane.

"Hi."

Lois found herself mesmerised by the way he looked. By the way his hair fell across his face. By the way his jeans hung off his waist. He looked so comfortable in his own skin. No glasses, so definitely not Clark, but not quite Superman either. Just a guy. Standing there holding bags of Chinese food in his arms.

"Hi."

He couldn't take his eyes off her, "I guess a well-placed 'Gee-golly-whizz, Lois' isn't going to quite cut it here, is it?"

Across the room she shook her head.

Martha rose. "You know, you two have alot to talk about. Why don't I put these in the oven and go see how Jason's getting along with that telescope?"

"Jason's here?"

As Martha removed the bags of take-out from Clark's arms she fixed him with a hard stare. It said 'Well where else would he be? And you better not screw this one up this time.' She left them alone in the room.

They waited politely for the other to start before simultaneously taking deep breaths and ending up speaking together anyway,

"--So, I guess my first question is-"  
"--You look really different without your-"

"-I'm sorry."  
"-Sorry."

They paused. And then at the same time;

"-You first."  
"-You first."

They laughed a little nervously. There was another pause to allow the other one to go first. Neither did.

Lois closed her eyes. Oh, this was ridiculous. She pointed. "You first."

Clark demurred, "No, you. Please."

"No, it's okay, really. Go ahead."

"No, honestly Lois. Ladies-"

"Okay then!" Clark noticed the dangerous glint in her eye as she took a breath and squared up, "Why did you lie to me? Every single day," she shrugged her shoulders, "that I've ever known you?"

Clark looked at her steadily, "Well, it's really not that simple-"

Lois suddenly exploded, "Yes it is! Yes it is. It's very simple; Superman never lies! That's what they say, right? No! That's what _I_ say because that's what YOU say! That's what YOU said to me the first night we ever spent together! 'I never lie, Lois'- that's what you said! And it kind of stuck with me over the years because I happen to remember that night very well. It was the night I fell hopelessly in love with you when all the time you were lying to my face!"

She finished on a shout. Clark allowed it all to register. "Lois."

"Don't. Just don't. Don't 'Lois' me. I just want to hear 'why'," she tried but failed to keep the shakiness out of her voice, "and then we'll go."

He bobbed his head, "Where do I start?" Straightening his shoulders he looked into her eyes and spoke softly, "Well, I think you should know, that was also the night I fell hopelessly-"

Lois rolled her eyes, "Oh, please."

"What?"

"You ..._buttering_ me up. When we both know you've dedicated the entire time we've known each other to ...keeping away from me."

"That's not true."

"It IS true. God, we've known each other ten years! I don't even know what to call you?"

He took a step closer, willing her to understand, "I'm Clark."

She moved back, "You don't look like Clark."

For some reason that annoyed him. "Would it help if I knocked something over? Would this be easier for you if I put on a pair of glasses?"

"Hey don't get funny with me, okay? If I wasn't sure I was going to break my foot, I would kick your ass."

Clark pressed his hands to his chest, "I'm still Clark, I'm him. He's just a ...slightly exaggerated version."

"_Slightly_ exaggerated? Oh, come on! Our entire friendship was one big act!" She put her fists to her hips, "Yes or no, you were prepared to take me flying around town on dinner dates as Superman but yet couldn't face telling me how you really felt as Clark?"

He was unapologetically unequivocal, "Yes."

Lois threw up her hands, "Well, what was the matter? You can come ...seduce me in a costume every once in a blue moon-"

"_Seduce_ you? I wasn't trying to seduce-"

"- but a man I see everyday, _my partner_, I clearly wasn't fit to have a relationship with?"

"It wasn't like that."

"It WAS like that! You could still have your fun and deal with none of the complications."

"Is that what you think? That I did all this so I didn't have to get close to you? Lois, I did all this, kept this ridiculous disguise, because I can't stand to be apart from you! Maybe I had to hide, and yes, sometimes I had to lie, but at least Clark allowed me to have a place in your life that didn't hurt you or put you at risk just because I'd fallen in love with you!"

He'd never spoken to her like that. She'd never seen him so riled. And was he...? He was glaring at her! They were both breathing heavily, and there was a lull while they recovered.

It all hit Lois anew and it made her cringe, "But. I'm _awful_ to Clark."

"You're not ...awful."

She sat down heavily and gestured at his face, "I am. I make fun of your hair, all the time._"_

"That's just playful office banter."

"I steal chocolate buttons off your desk."

He shrugged, "I only buy them because I know you like them."

"Well, what about that time we were working the Zanoni case together, and I told you there was a press conference at City Hall when actually it was being held at the Grande, and while you were gone I got an exclusive with Ellen Zanoni-Winkelman, even though I only recognised her because you'd pulled the file in the first place?"

He smiled, "That's because you're an ambitious, morally corrupt, hack who would stop at nothing, and possibly sell her own grandmother, if it meant breaking a story first... Don't feel too bad though; I think we're kind of even now you know how I got all those lucky 'Right place, right time' special features on the City beat."

That made her smile back, but it faded quickly on her face.

"What about when I told you we didn't have a relationship?" She watched him carefully, not wanting him to let her off the hook.

"I...I'd been gone along time." Damn him.

She cringed again, like the thought had just occurred to her, "All those times when...and it was you? Why didn't you tell me?"

He fought an urge to kneel in front of her and instead turned away.

"Lois. You have no idea how many times I wanted to. How many times I almost did. All those late nights alone at the Planet, when all I could think about was what it would be like to go over to you, rip off my glasses, sweep everything off your desk..."

Her eyes shined with tears, "Why didn't you?"

"How could I? How could I do it?" His voice was ragged. "All because in that one moment I was too weak to care about the consequences. And then to expect you to carry that secret- no matter what..." He faced her, "How could I ask you to live a life like that?"

She stood back up. "I would have said yes."

----------

"...and that's a special kind of Math that you can use to figure out the paths of two separate bodies. Now, there are two types of orbit..."

In the loft of the old hay barn, Jason had Clark's old telescope adjusted to the night sky and he was enthusiastically teaching his new grandma about Physics.

"...and mom says _that's_ why I'm not allowed to eat Licquorice Laces anymore but it's actually a different kind of 'kinetic energy' and nothing to do with eating candy at all. See, sometimes, when the objects get really near each other, they miss each other, like this," he moved two stubby fingers through the air, "and then they separate again- forever. The _other_ type's called a _closed_ orbit. That's when..."

But Martha was only half-listening. Whilst Jason gesticulated and his mouth moved in excited explanation, she was quiet- completely taken with the little boy. By the way his dark curls bounced as he talked, and the way his eyebrows moved to emphasize an important point. She could feel her eyes welling up just watching him.

"...shaped like a circle or curved- like a football. It means that no matter what happens, the object will always return; as if something invisible ties the two of them together." Jason paused for breath and frowned. "Are you okay?"

"You know? I don't think I've ever been better."

----------

They had moved incrementally toward each other, but still stood on opposite sides of the room. Lois had her hands resting on her hips, Clark had his in his pockets. It was interesting to her, to notice that certain nervous Clarkisms remained. Maybe it hadn't all been an act afterall. She gave him a once-over and lifted a shoulder.

"So. Where's the suit?"

"Oh." As if noticing for the first time he wasn't wearing it, he felt his chest. Lois found that a little distracting. He nodded back toward the kitchen, "I change as soon as I get home. I don't wander round the house in it." He looked sheepish. "The cape gets caught."

"Do you wear it at work?"

"Underneath my shirt."

"God. Underneath your shirt?" Under her breath she added, "Underneath my nose." She shook her head in wonderment at him, and at her years of obliviousness, "No wonder your clothes don't fit."

He shifted from one foot to the other and cleared his throat, "When did you realise?"

"Ah. Well. You have your son to thank for that."

Clark frowned.

"Remember last night- on the roof?"

He definately did. "Yeah."

"Remember the thing I had to rush off and do?"

He nodded, "The slip of paper."

"It was an appointment card- for Jason. For picking up his first pair of glasses."

She glanced up and they couldn't help a small smile at each other.

"You know, it's funny. Richard always said Jason takes after me but," she studied his face, "he looks so much like you. And last night I was watching him in the mirror. He was brushing his hair to one side, and I had no idea what he was doing. But something about him sure looked familiar." Lois was wistful.

"And then he said he was being like dad and... that was it. Just looking at him. Alot of things suddenly made alot of sense." She redirected her gaze back at Clark. He was looking out the window, at the barn.

"I...I had no idea Jason knows. I wonder how long?"

"I know, right?" Lois picked at a hem. "The Daily Planet's award-winning writing team. Out-scooped by a five year old. It's kind of embarassing."

"Well, I guess we shouldn't be so surprised. He's brilliant." At the same moment they faced each other.

"-He gets that from you."  
"-He gets that from you."

Lois shook her head. "I can't believe you were just going to let us go."

"I wasn't letting you go."

"Clark," she flapped an arm out, "we should be arriving in Paris by now."

He swallowed a lump in his throat,"I guess Richard will be waiting for you."

She stayed silent.

"He'll be worrying."

"No doubt."

"You need to go."

"Why?"

Why did she have to make everything so hard? "To be with Richard, for the wedding."

Lois looked liked she had no idea what he was talking about. "Who's getting married?"

Was she doing this on purpose? "_You_ are."

"I am? Who says?"

"Yesterday, at the party, Elaine told me you were going to Paris to elope-"

"I'm not marrying Richard, Clark."

"Well, obviously you can't, stood here." He steeled himself, determined to be strong enough when it really counted. "I'll take you to him, if you want?"

"Why are you doing this? Stop pushing me away."

"I'm not pushing you away- I'm trying to protect you."

"From what?"

"From me!"

"What are you so afraid of?"

"Everything! I'm afraid of everything! I'm afraid that you're not thinking things through. I'm afraid that this thing between us will make you..." There was desperation in his voice, "Richard can give you a life. A _better_ life than I can."

"How can you say that?"

"Because I KNOW, Lois. I've thought about it. It's ALL I think about."

"And what about you? Your life?"

"I don't care about myself. I lost that right, I understand. I just want you to be happy."

"Happy?" Lois was incredulous at how frighteningly obtuse the man could be. "Do you think I'm happy?" She opened her arms wide, "I'm not happy, Clark! I'm not happy without you."

"But, Richard-"

"I'm not marrying Richard, I'm not eloping with Richard. I'm not _doing anything_ with Richard. We weren't even going to live together."

"But, you told me you were staying with him."

She shot back, "Well, you told me you didn't love me."

They were moving closer. She was breaking through walls he'd spent years putting between them, and they could both feel it. It was inexorable. It was exhilarating.

"I lied."

"I lied too. You just make me so angry."

"You were going to move to France just to spite me?"

Lois considered that and took another step "It seemed like a better idea about twenty-four hours ago."

They were now no more than a pace apart. "Do you have any idea what you do to me? How hard it is to think straight when I'm stood near you? How hard it is to make the right decision?"

She closed the gap. He could feel her breath on his lips. "I love you, do you get that? I want to be with you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to have arguments about who takes the trash out- with you." They were practically touching as she went on, sick and tired of being out of his reach. "I don't care about Paris, or keeping secrets, or your _idiotic_ idea that nothing bad will ever happen to me or Jason just because I'm with someone el-"

To shut her up he took her face in his hands and kissed her. A kiss that they'd spent five, long years waiting for. She melted into him and it felt like the world around them sighed.

----------

"They've been talking a while. Do you think everything's okay?" Jason fiddled with the lens of the telescope.

"Sweetheart, I think everything's fine. Your parents just have a lot of talking stored up." Martha paused. "A lot."

She checked her watch. "It is late though, and I'm getting kind of hungry." She made to ease herself carefully down the ladder, "C'mon, we can sneak a peek through the window."

"Oh, wait a second." Jason turned in the direction of the farmhouse, seemingly staring at nothing, but Martha recognised the look.

"They're smooching!" He clapped his hands delightedly.

Martha hummed, "I think that's known as the Perigee."

Jason beamed at his grandmother.

----------

They were in the middle of the room making happy throaty noises and rubbing against one another, hands up and down and all over each other's backs, their bodies desperate to make up for the deprivation.

Clark stopped nuzzling at her neck long enough to manage a coherent sentence, "I think I must be dreaming."

She pressed her hand against the back of his head. "Please don't stop." He grazed his teeth along her collar bone and shoulder and she couldn't stifle a moan.

"That's better. When it comes to me and you, I make the decisions." She found his lips again with her own, "Things work best that way. Okay?"

He breathed hotly into her hair, "Okay."

"And I say, you're never letting me go again. Got it?"

"Yes, maam." He began tracing a line of kisses across her forehead.

"We're going to put this in writing." He carried on down her to her ear. She refused to be distracted,

"Mark the time and place." Her voice wavered as he gently caught her earlobe in his teeth.

"Uh. Swear a solemn oath." Now he was tasting the spot just behind her jaw.

"I don't want any wriggle-room for you," she held his face in her hands to stop him and look at him seriously, "or any attempts to marry me off to someone else."

He rolled his eyes.

"So, repeat after me; 'I, Clark-' what's your middle name?"

He kissed her on the mouth. "Jerome."

"Repeat after me; 'I, Clark Jerome-'" He felt her smile against his face. "Jerome?"

"What's wrong with Jerome?"

"Nothing."

"Lois! What's wrong with Jerome?"

"Nothing!" She looked entirely too pleased with herself. "It's just that Superman's middle name is Jerome."

"As of this moment three people in the world know that."

"Good job," she said under her breath.

"My mother named me Jerome."

"And it's a ...beautiful choice."

"Shall I give you a minute?"

"No, it's fine now."

"Is this what I have to look forward to?" They were playing with each other's hands as he bent his head so they were nose-to-nose. "A lifetime's mockery of my inner most secrets?"

She swallowed a chuckle, "Seriously, it's fine. Over it," but she couldn't resist a wide grin; "Clark Jerome Kent."

He nudged her nose, "That's a family name you know, I expect it to be passed down to the kids."

She raised an amused eyebrow.

"Not that I'm presuming...I mean, if we have any..."

The other eyebrow went up.

"...More than we already do."

There was laughter in her eyes, "I'll consider it for a middle-name." She sobered, "Clark?"

"Yeah."

"We have a son."

It was his turn to grin like an idiot. "I know." He lifted her hands so that he could run his mouth against her knuckles.

"Clark Kent and Lois Lane have a son." She said it to herself and enjoyed the way it sounded.

On a sigh, Clark asked "What in the world are we going to tell him?"

Lois squeezed his hands, "Everything; the truth. We tell him the truth."

"What about everybody at work?"

"Lies. Alot of lies."

He chuckled and the sound nearly made Lois swoon. Had she really nearly walked away from this?

"Okay." He touched his forehead to hers as she moved his hands back to hold her around the waist and wrapped her own arms around his neck.

"See, that's why I'm in charge. Now where were we?"

"Uh," he lowered his lips to hers, "I think we were here. I was swearing a solemn oath."

"Right. So, repeat after me; 'I, Clark Jerome Kent..."


	4. Epilogue

**The Long Way Home**

**-Epilogue-**

**Five years later...**

Lois sat in the middle of the couch, snuggled up against her husband, so that his arm wrapped round the back of her waist and the tips of his fingers were free to idle across her hip bone. Their four year old was sprawled along the rise and fall of their laps whilst on the floor, Jason and his brother sat leaning against the gaps in their parents' legs. With her left hand Lois swigged from a bottle of beer. Christopher was in charge of the popcorn and Lois periodically bent down to scoop up a handful. All eyes were on the television.

They were watching the Grand Final of a special edition of a game show.

"I seriously hope you're reconsidering your participation in this...nonsense," Lois garbled through a mouthful of Crunch 'n Munch.

"Honey, it's for charity."

"Pfft. Call themselves number one fans?" Lois animatedly gestured to the screen with her beer-hand, "The one on the end doesn't even know the color of your cape!"

"Lois- they're eight years old."

"Clark, a scale replica of you is available in every box of Frosted Wheetos; there's just no excuse." She popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

"Sssh; we're trying to listen to the questions!"

"Where did they even find these people?"

"Mom, I didn't hear that last one!"

Without missing a beat Clark leaned forward to Jason; "'What is Superman's favorite milkshake flavor?' LaVonda answered 'Strawberry'. She was correct," before turning to address his wife, "I believe there was some kind of phone-in to enter the competition."

"Sshh!"

'_And now for the elimination round! Remember kids; only the one with the most correct answers gets the chance to meet SU-PER-MAAAN!'_

The studio audience ooohed. The Lane-Kents thrilled at the effect their father had on people.

'_First question to last round's strongest player. Melissa; can you name Superman's favorite baseball team?'_

On the screen, family-favorite Melissa seemed to be struggling.

"She doesn't know it."

"She's going to pass."

"Oh, c'mon, this one's so easy," offered their youngest from Clark's lap.

Lois reached across to smooth her hair. "I know, baby, I know." She shook her head sadly, "Amateurs."

Time was nearly up for Melissa...

'_Um, is it...the Metropolis Meteors?'_

'_CORRECT!'_

Three small voices chorused "Yaaay!" and Lois chuckled at her childrens' delight in other children's delight.

"Of course, that's actually _in_correct. Although only one other person outside this room could possibly know it, my favourite team is obviously the Smallville Crows, Go Crows, and frankly-"

"But Daaad!" the children groaned together. "High School teams don't count!"

"You can't even watch them on tv!"

"- frankly, I'm a little disappointed that not one of my own flesh and blood has chosen to show a little solidarity and adopt their father's home town team as their favorite."

"Well, what can I say, Kansas?" Lois hitched herself closer so that she could run her fingertips up and down Clark's chest. "Obviously in this particular area our children take after their mother; sophisticated city slickers, through and through. No Nowheresville hayseeds allowed." She stretched to kiss him on the nose victoriously and then settled back against his shoulder.

A knock at the door interrupted them. "Ugh, it's a Friday night!" Lois protested, "Who can that be?"

Her husband and all three children swivelled their heads round in the direction of the front door and were silent a moment in concentration. As one, they said, "It's Mrs O'Halloran."

"Man, it really bugs me when you all do that."

"Well, what can I say, Metropolis?" Clark gently eased himself from underneath his family before lifting and tucking their little girl into the crook of one arm, "Obviously in this particular area our children take after their father; superpowered Kryptonians, through and through. No puny earthlings allowed." He kissed Lois sweetly on the lips before walking round to the door.

"Yeah, kids? I'd be careful about saying that last part too loud, too often in the school yard," she reached to yell over the back of the couch, "And tell her 'No!'"

Pausing in front of the door Clark dipped his daughter so that she could reach a pair of his glasses off the countertop. She put them on his face for him. "There you go, daddy!" They sat on a wonky angle, just off his nose. "Thanks, honeybunch."

He corrected them and opened the door. "Mrs O'Halloran! What a surprise!"

Their three-times divorced, fifty-something, mini-skirted neighbor leaned provocatively in the doorjamb.

She breathed, "Oh, hi Clark. Sorry to bother you so late on a weekend but. I seem to be having more trouble with my plumbing. I was wondering if you could ...come take a look at my pipes again?"

Lara, alarmed, whispered into her father's ear, "Daddy, I can see her knees!"

He whispered back through a closed smile, "Don't be rude, honey," and then raised his voice for Mrs O'Halloran, "Uh, do you need me right now?"

She looked back through half-closed lids. "That would be great."

"Okay, let me just go get my tools." Clark smiled sincerely at her, "I'll be right along," before closing the door.

Lois was waiting for him, kneeling the wrong way on the couch. "Well?"

"I'll just be five minutes."

"Clark!"

"Here, you take the munchkin."

"And what is it this time?" Lois balanced Lara on her hip. "Can opener emergency? Spider in the bathroom? Perhaps she's having trouble changing a light bulb?"

"Changing a light bulb can be incredibly dangerous, Lois. Last year, falls in the home and community caused or led to over sixteen percent of all recorded deaths."

Lois was unmoved.

"I think she mentioned something about the plumbing."

She narrowed her eyes, "Did she ask you to look at her pipes again?"

Clark hesitated but Lara nodded traitorously. He gave his daughter the eye, "She...may have phrased it that way, yes."

"That woman is unbelievable!"

"Honey, I'm sure it's a really simple thing. I'll be five minutes."

"Loaning you out to Mrs O'Halloran on the rare occasions when you're not required elsewhere is not my idea of a relaxing night in, Clark."

"Five minutes."

----------

Lois checked her watch when she heard the apartment door open.

"Hey, sorry I'm a little late." Clark put down his toolbox and took off his glasses. Lois was sat in the dark watching tv. "Where are the kids?"

"It's ten after ten. They're in bed."

"Ah."

"It's okay though, I know what you're thinking but I'm not mad. No, I _enjoy_ spending my evenings alone- it finally gave me some valuable face-time with my friends here," she lifted a bottle and the television remote alternately, "Mr Bud, Mr Weiser and Mr CNN." She made room for Clark to settle in next to her and passed him her beer. "Which, by the way, I didn't know you were in Austria earlier?"

He waved his hand nonchalantly as he took a swig, "Ski resort. Mayrhofen. Helped Mountain Rescue over lunchbreak."

"Anyway," she hunched closer and stroked her fingers through his hair, "how was your evening? Managed to give Mrs O'Gimme-a-break's U Bend the all-clear, did you?"

He rested his head back to look at her, "You know, she's just lonely. I know what that's like."

With his free hand he reached up to rub her cheek with the back of his fingers, "Besides, it's kind of nice that for once it's _Clark_ that gets to fend off the unwanted female attention." He smiled mischieviously, "She really likes him."

Lois resented the implication. She caught his hand in her own, "_I_ liked Clark!"

Clark snorted his beer.

"What?" She feigned offence, "I thought your glasses were ...really ...cute."

"You told me that I looked like Where's Waldo."

"Well, sure," Lois wafted her hand vaguely in the air, "That was probably when you were running around getting your tie," she stopped to airquote, "'accidently' trapped in my coat zipper, or something."

"Honey, it was last week."

"Hey, let's stop right there." She shifted onto his lap and held his face in her hands, "I love your stupid Waldo glasses and I always will, okay?" She looked at him seriously. "Afterall. They brought me to you."

He put down the beer so he could wrap his arms around her. "I'm sorry I wasn't here tonight."

"I know. It's okay."

He gave her a look that suggested he knew better.

"I mean it." She used her thumbs to smooth out his eyebrows. "I love that you care about Mrs O'Halloran's fake, faulty, faucets as much as," she blew out her cheeks, "shooting off to save...some Austrian village... Hottentotten-"

He ran his hands up the outside of her thighs as she straddled him. "Mayrhofen."

"- that's what I said, from an avalanche."

He gently shifted her round so he could lay her down."Really?"

"Yes. You're the best man I've ever known. Why do you think I married you?"

He leaned her back further so they were lying full-length on the couch, "I thought it was for the free air miles?"

She looked up at him and smiled, "Well. That. And you're great in bed."

He tilted his head, listening.

She moved her hands across the muscles in his back. "What?"

"Just checking the kids are asleep."

"Why?" Her eyes danced, "Think you're going to get lucky?"

"I know I'm lucky. Every single moment I spend with you."

They stared dreamily into each other's eyes as he held her. She lifted her head to rub her nose tenderly against his before capturing his mouth in a deep kiss, "I love you... Now C'mon. Time for some sex!"

She sprang up from underneath him and took his hands to pull him up off the couch.

"Oh, Lois! The romance! Your way with words! Hey, you should think about writing for a living."

He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him. Their words were punctuated by kissing as they made their way to the bedroom.

"You think?"

"Mmm."

Clark backed her up against the door. She bent to place kisses along the side of his face as he used one hand to turn the handle.

"Mmm, did I mention that I won the Pulitzer Prize?"

"Not for at least a couple of hours, no."

The latch came up and he pushed her through, closing the door behind them with his foot. Muffled by the door, their voices faded.

"Yeah, the article was entitled; 'Why Superman Should Just Shut Up And Listen to His Oh, yeah... that feels good. Oh, Clark...yeah, uh...there."

"You know, I don't think I remember reading that one."

"Really? 'Cause...mmm...I wrote a follow- up."

"Mmm. What was that called?"

"We've Got All Night And I'm Going To Give It To You Hard... Hot... And Slow."

"Oh. I like the sound of that."

"Let me show you..."

**The End**


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